I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
