I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My ass is underappreciated
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
