The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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