I'm so fucking centered right now
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
