im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
