yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he fucked my hip out of place.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
