So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
