why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
