That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
