All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
