it wasn't lemon gatorade
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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