we're chasing vodka with high fives
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize