We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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