She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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