Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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