OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
