Only a mothe r could love this liver
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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