we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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