Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
