My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
