Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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