This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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