The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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