we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
