so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize