That's when you crack a 10am beer
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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