question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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