i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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