all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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