Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
