I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
