I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
sex in a hospital.. check
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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