ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
