thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
