whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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