ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
they need to just BURY HIM!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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