My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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