im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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