woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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