He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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