Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
