Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
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Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
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WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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