You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.