I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Life is so much better after having sex.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.