Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.