I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
