it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
