he shaved USA in his pubs
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
