How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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