My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
