I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she peed on how many people?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
