I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Farmville is her only friend.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
