He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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