I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
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I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
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What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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