I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
