I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize