I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
