I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
