She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
