I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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