i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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