you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
