The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
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Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Your penis caused this!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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