i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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