We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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