is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
