Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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