During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I am one with the molecules
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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