Umm I'm too high to move.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize